I can't recall a time I have been more frustrated with music. For the last two weeks I have been helping my daughter with a song she is doing for a talent show. I just don't know how to reach her! It's this Katie Perry song Firework. It's well within her range... hurts poor old Dad at times though. She doesn't understand what sharp or flat is. So I go to my piano and explain it to her and show her by playing a note and singing one key then sharp and then flat. I try to get her to sing the note I'm playing but she doesn't want to do things like that. I try to explain to her that this is the kind of thing a vocal coach or teacher will do. It makes me feel sorry for everyone who has to deal with me because she can be such a hard headed little Italian! But, the problem is she thinks it sounds good. Which to her credit a couple parts of the song does sound really good when she is doing them. So, I was trying to work on the rest of the song where she is off key and out of time. Her timing is so bad I don't know how she learned to walk! Then she likes to screw around. And let me tell you my time is very valuable AND I have had to make the time for her so we are not getting together at 10 p.m. Last night just hit the pinnacle of frustration for me. Screwing around and not trying, it is just driving me completely insane! But, I kept my cool even though the thought of hanging myself did pop into my mind. She told me that my shop was not an inspiring place to sing. I can't believe I haven't had a heart attack one night in these past two weeks. My blood pressure was certainly high enough. Tonight was our last night to practice before her show on Saturday. I had to just let go of all the off key singing to try and get her to find the timing. But, before I got to all that I thought it might be a good time to sit down and have a talk with her. My hope was that it would be helpful so I put it to her like this:

I said “Listen... I'm not going to talk to you Father to Daughter. I'm going to talk to you singer to singer even though my voice left me years ago. I have practiced in dark dreary basements that looked more like a dungeon than anything else. I practiced in a garage with a dirt floor and moldy rotten carpet thrown over the dirt. We are not here in my shop for inspiration. We are here to work. We work on a song so hard so that when we are at the show we don't have to think about it. We can just go out and have a good time with it. That is the time for inspiration, this is the time to work. We don't go over a song until we get it right. We go over a song until we can't get it wrong. There are five elements of singing that you need to work on at your level:

1. Keying
2. Timing
3. Tone
4. Breathing
5. Recovery

Keying, meaning you need to stay on key. You have to correct the notes that you don't sing on key. When I correct you I am not criticizing you I am trying to help you.

Timing: You spend all of your time worrying about your tone but not a moment considering the timing. You can't expect the music to come to you, YOU have to be in time with the music. You need to think of your voice as not only an instrument that makes notes but also a drum that falls on time with the rhythm.

Tone: After we have the timing and keying correct then we can fine tune the dynamics of tone. You can't focus on tone alone because even if you have the greatest tone ever heard by mankind it will not sound good if you are off key and out of time with the music.

Breathing: I haven't beat you up about breathing with this song because you seem to be getting enough breathe. But, if you feel you are struggling with note holds or losing wind on a line you need to realize that you need more air and need to work on your breathing.

Recovery: I play with some of the most talented musicians in the State and they all makes mistakes and so do I. The reason that very few people ever hear us make a mistake is because we recover quickly. That is what you need to do. If you make a mistake then you need to put it behind you and get back on track with the song”.

After that we worked on the song. The talk seemed to have a calming effect on both of us. But, then for the next two hours I spent my time listening to off key out of time singing. I have heard this song so many times that I can start it in the middle and start singing it. She can't hear the cord changes or any of the cues. I have pointed them out dozens of times. I have done all I can in the time given. Two weeks? I don't know if two months would be enough time! The whole thing just made me want to run myself over with my own truck. It was just so very frustrating!

On the ride home I told her to practice it tomorrow and focus on the timing and keying but not to sing hard. Then I told after that all the work is done so just go out and have a good time with it because that is why we do this.

But, it's a whole lot more fun when you have a good performance. Now all I can do is pray that my musical genes rise to the surface Saturday. And if they don't I can only pray that she won't tell anyone that I was helping her work on this song. Even though I think she is going to train wreck this song I'm still looking forward to going and watching her. She is such a little ham and it will be nice to see how she handles the stage.

She is one of the biggest reasons why I don't teach.

Dave