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• Respond to this Message Would you trust this on your butt? Maurice Carr (34763) Miscellaneous Forum 7/2/2009 3:25:55 AM · 34 Views

Scene 1 I'm away on a sales trip currently staying in Invercargill. Look it up, it's at the bottom of the country, closest to the South Pole, it's mid winter here, there's a southerly wind blowing and so it's blooming freezing! Scene 2 Kiwis always look for opportunities to give their Aussie neighours a bit of a serve. Scene 3 Always looking to turn adversity to advantage, I book into a motel but then couldn't help but notice the "skite rap" on the loo ( bathroom) paper Sorry for the pic quality, but it reads "100% Recycled toilet tissue" If you squint carefully, you'll note it's "Australian made and owned" The dilemma I was faced with was "Being 100% recycled toilet tissue...." well....I'll leave it to you to decide what my fears were...

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• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/2/2009 11:32:16 AM Clifton Jackson (31544) wrote:

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/2/2009 12:23:32 PM Roger Gumbs (27088) wrote: hmmmm...well not to worry...if scientists say you can't catch anything from sittng on a dirty toilet seat, then you should be fine with "already been used" toilet paper!! lol

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/2/2009 2:19:17 PM Leroy Sams (2923) wrote: Us Poms still have squares of newspaper nailed to the back of the toilet door. LOL Leroy

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/2/2009 2:30:44 PM Alfred Whitehead (2858) wrote: True story, and I suspect several others on the site will agree/remember similar stories.... I was raised in the hills and hollers of middle/east Tennessee with outdoor privies. We used Sears/Speigel/Montomery Ward catalogs. I do not remember having real genuine toilet paper until I was probably about 15-16 years old.

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/2/2009 3:55:21 PM Maurice Carr (34763) wrote: Yep, we had that ( Newspaper squares )in our "Out-houses" on the various farms we had when I was a child. Our out-house wasn't a long drop but one with can that when full, dad would take out, dig a hole on bury the contents. I used to delight in scaring the female cousins when they came to stay by waiting until the content pile was reasonably close to the top, then get a chicken feather and delicately stack it on 'solid bit' just before dusk/dinner time. After dinner, the cuzzies would want to 'go' before bedtime and of course it was dark outside and the torch was always weak. They'd never notice that feather until they sat down, and I'd always know the exact time of point of contact! Of course I'd get my butt thrashed, but scarring my cousins in this way was well worth the pain!

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/2/2009 11:50:44 PM Lesley White (7886) wrote: That's pure evil Mo! Hahahahaha!

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/3/2009 4:55:43 AM Maurice Carr (34763) wrote: No, I wouldn't say evil....just 'boyish fun. ...and you have to realise that at 9 years old, my anatomical knowledge of things female was severely limited. But a tickle is...a tickle, no matter where it's applied, : )

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/3/2009 3:48:30 PM Leroy Sams (2923) wrote: Sir, I take my hat off to you, I cannot beat that. To think that folk think I'm strange..... LOL Leroy

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/2/2009 3:04:49 PM Leroy Sams (2923) wrote: Hi Alfred, I'm off on a trip down memory lane, Catologues were far too posh for us poor brits, we were so poor and far behind America with loads of things.......... You had Color TV while we still listened to the Wireless, My Granny thought color TV's were the work of the Devil and would not go into the same room when it was on. When She finaly plucked up the courage to watch the thing She would only watch the wrestling matches and constantly complained about the skimpy leotards that the men wore. You can't make it up Leroy

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/2/2009 3:43:33 PM Maurice Carr (34763) wrote: ...Catologues were far too posh for us poor brits, we were so poor and far behind America with loads of things. Catalogues ? Sheer looxury! Why, when I were a kid we used to DREAM of livin' in a corridor! Woulda' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woken up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House!? Hmph

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/2/2009 4:01:50 PM Leroy Sams (2923) wrote: Luxury thats pure Luxury, A water tank indeed and breakfast in bed. We lived on the tip too, my Dad used to glue cardboard boxes together with seagull poo every night. Then we were allowed to sleep next to the entrance of this flimsy structure to keep the draughts out. You had it too easy. Leroy

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/4/2009 9:42:14 AM Paul Redmile (4781) wrote: LMAO !!!! Good old Monty Python lol Plod

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/4/2009 11:24:28 AM Leroy Sams (2923) wrote: What ? ya mean to say that this aint original. I've been rumbled.......... Leroy

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/2/2009 3:39:02 PM Maurice Carr (34763) wrote: They've finally got around to introducing newspapers in Pomgolia?......

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/2/2009 3:52:46 PM Leroy Sams (2923) wrote: Broadsheets for us and tabloids for the common folk. Leroy

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/3/2009 4:52:18 AM Maurice Carr (34763) wrote: Petang!

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/4/2009 11:45:49 AM Barney Brazitis (16883) wrote: So......what's 'petang' mean?

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/4/2009 11:52:19 AM Leroy Sams (2923) wrote: I think that it may be short for Pet your Angste, which means "to calm". Hope that helps Leroy.

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/4/2009 11:53:26 AM Leroy Sams (2923) wrote: I made that up............

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/4/2009 2:17:44 PM Barney Brazitis (16883) wrote: Kinda figured you fooler....

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/4/2009 3:25:19 PM Maurice Carr (34763) wrote: It is a secret greeting that people who have been through 'Outward Bound' use, the emphasis on the p and t ...sort of like a drop of molten lead landing in a bucket.

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/4/2009 4:39:30 PM Barney Brazitis (16883) wrote: "Outward Bound"?

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/4/2009 8:54:40 PM Maurice Carr (34763) wrote: http://www.outwardbound.co.nz/ That's the link to the New Zealand one. There are Outward Bounds scattered throughout the world. It was started during WWII when ships were being torpedoed in the Atlantic. Of the survivors who made it into the liferafts, there was a noticeably high rate of deaths due to shock amongst the younger albeit physically fit sailors. Quick research showed that they were not mentally prepared for the ordeal and let circumstances overwhelm them. A training scheme was put in place in the UK to help mentally toughen these sailors up by putting them through tough physical challenges that they would not meet in everyday life. They were also taught to and rely on teamwork and inner mental strength. The motto of these schools was, and still is "To serve, to strive and not to yield" I put myself through the course in the early 70's and it was one of the best things I ever did in my life. After the course I was very active in promoting Outward Bound for many years.

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/4/2009 11:34:46 PM Barney Brazitis (16883) wrote: That sounds great, unfortunately the nearest chapter is a few miles south in San Francisco. Did you get to SanFran when you were here? I don't seem to remember. It's a pretty neat and interesting place..

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/5/2009 12:09:32 AM Maurice Carr (34763) wrote: Yes, I had been there several times before as well. Campbell and I stayed in Santa Rosa near Geoff Barnes and commuted to SF for a day sight seeing.

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/5/2009 8:44:59 AM Leroy Sams (2923) wrote: Hi Mo, I remember Outward Bound courses, I went on a couple of them what seems like eons ago in the late 60's early 70's, they were nigh on the Ray Mears survival courses of the day. Designed to be character building and like you stated, encourage teamwork. In England the School or Colledge Bullies were quite eager to go, but after a couple of days the were crying for their Mum........... Unlike me..... I used to cry from day one. LOL LOL

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/5/2009 2:13:56 PM Maurice Carr (34763) wrote: ....the School or Colledge Bullies were quite eager to go but after a couple of days the were crying for their Mum...... Exactly. The courses here used to be for almost a month. I remember going down on the train ( which was reserved for OBers ) and in the carriage there was a peacock and a mouse. The peacock was strutting up and down saying how fit he was, OB would be a breeze and because he does stuff like this all the time, he was mystified as to why his company was sending him. Next to me sat the mouse. Timid, hardly said a word and hardly shifted out of his seat. 25 days later, heading home, the peacock was sitting stripped of all his fine feathers, hardly said a word and was reflecting on how he broke down in front of everyone on 'the wall', 'the marathon', and 'the rapids'. The mouse on the other hand was full of confidence, laughing, cracking jokes and being the life and soul of our return party.

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/6/2009 1:27:19 PM Leroy Sams (2923) wrote: Well put Mo, I like your style. What you said was 100% correct, the trouble I had was that I was not the fittest kid in the class,(Think Pugsly Adams), but I gave it my best shot and still managed to get the better of some of the, as you say "Peacocks". Outward bound should be compusary and would probably in it's own way help with this thug culture that seems to be evolving. Leroy

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/6/2009 2:00:14 PM Maurice Carr (34763) wrote: ...Outward bound should be compulsory and would probably in it's own way help with this thug culture that seems to be evolving.. That and cutting out the violent TV and films and introducing decent sentences for petty crime.

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/6/2009 2:23:38 PM Leroy Sams (2923) wrote: Petty Criminals in this country are starting to become local heroes to the kids, I've even seen one of them showing off his electronic tag to a couple of younger kids and they thought it was great. I feel sorry for the police, doing their best to round the little ***** up, then the Courts virtualy reward them and blame it on their toilet training...Arrrrrggggghhhhh! Leroy

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/4/2009 8:28:16 PM Leroy Sams (2923) wrote: A Bucket ?? Molten lead ? are you unwell ?

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/4/2009 8:59:11 PM Maurice Carr (34763) wrote: ....are you unwell ?.... No, just the mad talking to the mad. I like the rabbit/grandfather/hammer story - that told me you and I would get on well together over a gallon.

• Respond to this Re: Would you trust this on your butt? 7/5/2009 9:12:26 AM Leroy Sams (2923) wrote: That was quite a true story. I was a strange little character when I was a kid. I once was asked why I was covered in bruises by the School Nurse, (I got them by sliding down a pit heap on an old shovel and falling off). I told her that my Mum and Dad did it, and all hell broke loose, Then the Police took them and interviewed them at the Station. I got some more bruises on my backside when they got me home. My Uncle Bertie till his dying day reckoned that they should have drowned me. I'd enjoy trying to swallow a gallon with you Mo, I'd probably fail after 6 nowadays then if I did get to 7 I would want to marry you... LOL Leroy

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