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Barely being polite...

Kelly Marsh (11455)

Bass Open Forum · 6/15/2006 10:33 PM
So I recently joined this cooking site. It's over all a pretty good site, but I'm starting to get annoyed with some of the guys that consider themselves to be the "big dogs" over there.

They jump into threads they have no interest in commenting on, and instead seem to just want to "spank" people who get "uppity", and who don't conform to the way they want things done.

For instance, I just started a new thread after searching the forum for similar threads, and finding out that the last one on a similar topic was over a year old. However, thinking that this topic could be one of those of the "picks vs. fingers" variety, as in done to death, I said so in the beginning of my initial post, but also explained that I had taken the time to search.

Well, this guy jumps in there and takes me to task for not "bumping the original thread." I explained to him that this is not how it is done in the forums I am used to hanging out at, because almost no one wants to jump into a year old thread with hundreds of responses already posted. I also told him I would be happy to adhere to the norm, if this is the way it is done on this site.

He replied with "Bumping up old topics is usually the preferred method on most forums because it keeps the amount of threads about the same topic down, and also because there are often times a lot of good info in old threads and people don't want to post the same things over and over again."

First, what does he care about the amount of threads? He's not a site administrator. Second, in the world of cooking, new stuff comes around all the time, just as in the world of bass playing. Therefore, a thread entitled "Best New Bass for...?" might have different answers today than it would have had a year ago. Same in the world of cooking. Third, who (who has info to post) hasn't posted the same info over and over again? Fourth, what does he know about most forums?

Am I overreacting? Perhaps, but I object to his use of the words "usually" and "most", and in context and in light of his other posts, trust me, he (and others) really seems like an arrogant @%$&$@#$! This guy has lectured me a couple of times before, and I am getting quite tired of it.

Why am I posting this over here? First, because I need to vent, if I am to keep my cool over there.

Second, and most importantly, I hope I have never acted this way toward a fellow member of this site.

If you feel as though I have, please accept my abject apologies. Also, feel free to tell me about it in this thread. I'm a big boy, and I can take it without lashing out in return. Though I have strong convictions, and express them, my main concern is to help everyone to be the best bass player they can be.

For those of you who may be out there, and are now snickering and saying "It's about time he got his comeuppance", perhaps you're right.

However, regarding being a "big dog" and a site bully, I really don't want to act or be perceived as being this way.


Kelly
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Re: Barely being polite...

6/26/2006 8:11 AM

Kelly Marsh (11455) wrote:

Okay,

As all who have encountered me no doubt know, I am nothing if not opinionated. However, as most of you also know, I don't form my opinions out of thin air. Usually, unless I am in a particularly foul mood, I will happily discuss opinins which oppose mine, and if I did happen to be in a particularly foul mood, I will most often apologize to the people who received the brunt of it, as they did not deserve it.

Okay, now I'm done with this cooking site. My offense was to post in a thread about exercise "Whenever I get the urge to exercise, I lie down until it goes away."

Humor, obviously, right? And yet I got a PM from a "site helper" who told me she had removed it because it was offensive to the other people in that thread. I objected. Here's what she wrote back:

You know what Kelly, you have been an arrogant nasty jerk from the moment you introduced yourself. Either suck it up and join the civilized world or leave the boards. And trust me, another tirade at ANY Admin or Site Helper and we will help you to leave.


I don't really give a rats a$$ what you think of me, I tend to consider the source for that kind of crap and you have done nothing pleasant or noteworthy on the site to date. Consider this your only warning, next bit of nastiness to any member and you will be banned. And, oh dear, if you feel I am abusing my power, perhaps you should go take a look at the Community Policies you agreed to when you signed up on the board. In case you can't figure out what you have violated, that would be the very first statement about being respectful to others on the board. You've had considerably more than three strikes in that area, so consider yourself lucky.


What a rotten @#$^ I am, eh? The community policies are the usual about foul language, politics & religion, pornography, attacking other members, name calling, and the like. I haven't broken one of them, but she has with this last PM.

No point in sticking around and arguing. However, I can't help but complain a bit. Sorry, and thanks for listening.

Kelly



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Re: Barely being polite...

6/26/2006 9:08 AM

Derek Still (14266) wrote:

Well done Kelly, a very measured and calm response under the circumstances.
good on ya

dags



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Re: Barely being polite...

6/26/2006 9:32 AM

Kelly Marsh (11455) wrote:

Thanks, Dags, I knew you'd understand. The thing that really bums me out is this site is pretty well constructed, and at least mechanically runs very smoothly.

I must admit a lot of people on it, however, seem to only want everything to be all wine and roses.

Imagine AB, if someone were to ask what kind of pickups to put on a bass that currently had two soapbars, and someone recommended a PJ configuration, and everyone else was afraid or too "polite" (read PC) to say "Ahem, yes, those are fine pickups, but they wouldn't really work for this particular bass without some fairly extensive modification."

Well, I've actually dared on the cooking site, and for this I've been ostracized for being arrogant and all that.

Apparently I have been trying to make this site into something it is not. The ironic thing is, just before I got this PM from the "site helper" a few people had gotten over their initial knee-jerk reactions to some of the things I've said, and replied "Oh, now I know what you're saying!"

While I have sometimes in the past lamented the fact that the "AB gods" don't seem to pay much attention to us, I am now here to tell you, the inverse can be far worse, especially since on that particular site there seem to be no end of authority figures.

I suppose it all comes down to "Be careful what you ask for, because you may get it."

Kelly



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Re: Barely being polite...

6/26/2006 11:49 AM

Ivan Thuringer (40974) wrote:

Oh well. Bass is superior to cooking anyway . . If you don't play the instrument well - it stinks. If you were to cook the greatest meal ever, eat it, & pass it - then the outcome will eventually be the same as a poorly played piece of music - IT STINKS!
But, a piece of music played well will sweetly fade from memory (in due time) and not require pulling your pants down and wiping. *from the mind of the Saint*





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Re: Barely being polite...

6/28/2006 5:44 AM

Kelly Marsh (11455) wrote:

Ivan,

One of the finest and most apt scatological analogies I've ever encountered. Bravo!

Kelly





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Re: Barely being polite...

6/28/2006 5:50 AM

Ivan Thuringer (40974) wrote:

*Ivan takes a bow with his pants still down*





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Re: Barely being polite...

6/29/2006 4:27 AM

Lesley White (7891) wrote:

Oooooooh Ivan - pull 'em up quick - I'm getting bad visuals here.......

Faint


Lez.





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Re: Barely being polite...

6/29/2006 8:29 AM

Ivan Thuringer (40974) wrote:

Lez, are you hanging out in the boys room again???





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Re: Barely being polite...

6/30/2006 7:22 AM

Lesley White (7891) wrote:

Ooooops, I've been caught.

Blushy Girl

I'll go now......

Is that really what goes on in the boys rooms? The mind boggles......size>

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Lez.



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Re: Barely being polite...

6/26/2006 11:59 AM

Paul Warren (15294) wrote:

While I have sometimes in the past lamented the fact that the "AB gods" don't seem to pay much attention to us, I am now here to tell you, the inverse can be far worse

How true Kelly. I've always been glad that we are mostly self-policing on AB.

It seems to me that many people react badly when given some authority even when it's minimal and inconsequential. Authority requires that you enforce the rules dispassionately, not your own point of view fanatically, but so many miss that little distinction.

In the end though it will be their loss as they lose the helpful input from you and others like you. BTW, I don't think anyone here would mind the odd 'cooking' thread on the Misc page. hint, hint. Especially if you post a pic of you favorite bass at the same time. LOL



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Re: Barely being polite...

6/28/2006 5:46 AM

Kelly Marsh (11455) wrote:

Thanks, Paul, I agree, and I'll keep the thing about cooking threads in mind.

Kelly

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Re: Barely being polite...

6/28/2006 5:56 AM

Kelvin Kydrowski (1324) wrote:

Wow. I'm getting the distinct impression someone has no real life outside of that site, and the time they do spend on that site is spent with a large, thorny stick firmly inserted in an orifice intended for outgoing traffic.

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Re: Barely being polite...

6/29/2006 4:03 AM

Kelly Marsh (11455) wrote:

Kelvin,

Yeah, you're right, and unfortunately there seem to be many "someones" there.

Kelly

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