This is not really "stage safety" horror stories, but nevertheless, they were minor horror stories for me whilst playing.

Just before Christmas, I was playing bass for the Carol Services. I had a bit of stomach flu, so I wasn't feeling too good and had to keep going outside for fresh air during the practice. THEN, horror of horrors, the elastic on my undies (or knickers - whatever you call them), decided to snap. Thankfully, we were still rehearsing - so I had to set my bass down, and shuffle out the room with my knees together, and trying to hold them up at the same time - whilst trying to look cool (I didn't say anything - just said I needed another breath of fresh air), and removed them whilst sat in my car.

I survived that little episode, only to have my new skirt, a few minutes later - just as we started the service, start to slip down (I think the skirt was a size too big - honest!).

Now, it's one thing to have a skirt fall down, but quite another to have it fall down when you are minus your undies. I could feel it getting further and further down, and was getting really "hot under the collar" about it, and straight after the song, having to admit this time, that I was having a few problems with my clothes, ducked off the stage and enlisted a friend to help me find some tinsel to tie round the waistband to keep it in place. There was raucous laughter as we tried behind the scenes to find a piece of tinsel that wouldn't snap!

Whilst I was gone, someone moved the projector image much lower than it's original position. So I then played the next song - quite unaware that I was standing in front of the projector, with my tinsel fairy hairband - complete with little antannae things, bobbing about, blocking out the words on the bottom of the page. No wonder everyone was grinning at me! I was obviously too entertaining for anyone to bother telling me, until after the song!

During the next song - I had to look at the music score, as it had a very "all over the place" bass line that I had only just played for the first time during the practice. One of the singers, very nicely, had taken away my music stand (they know I hardly ever use it), so I had to rest it open on the nearest thing - the guitarists amp. Unfortunately, right at the beginning of the song, it fell off - aaaargh! I couldn't pick it up again, with my skirt being held up by tinsel and prayer, so I just ad-libbed the whole thing - thankfully I got through it fairly well, but boy, was my blood pressure high at the end of it!

Also, last year when I was playing keys on stage, I had another clothing problem. Their was an air-conditioning fan positioned just behind me and the 2nd keyboard player. It was one of those on a stand that moves from left to right. Somehow, my fluffy little scarf got hooked up on fan, and I spent 2 songs having to move backwards and forwards with the fan, to avoid strangling myself!

Thankfully, me and the other keyboard player were towards the back of the stage with the singers in front of us, cos we were in fits of laughter!

I suppose the moral is - check your underwear elastic and never wear new (unpredictable) clothes when playing on stage!

Lez.

OMG !!

LMAO !!

How embarrassing was that Lez,!!

It seems that you have an awfull lot of trouble with your clothing,keeping it on I mean ! jk. Aahahahahahaha !!!

Just as well you weren`t being videotaped,an everlasting reminder. ;-)

Good tale of woe that hehe!

Vern ;-D

"Just as well you weren`t being videotaped,an everlasting reminder."

The awful thing is.....I WAS being videotaped, by several people

I don't think - apart from playing whilst being in a lot of pain (I've done that once before), that I have ever looked or felt so uncomfortable!


I've now altered the skirt so it NEVER happens again!

Lez.

Ooo heck !! LMAO !!

So that`s one videotape that will be doing the rounds of Auckland then, I might even get to see a copy of it over here,now wouldn`t that be a disaster! LOL !

Vern ;-D

Hey Vern.
Did you get the strings yet???

Yep they arrived at last,haven`t put em on yet but will get round to it soon.

Thanks Steve

Vern

Great, let me know how you get on with them.

LMAO!!! There's some good advice about clothing there Lesley. It must have been funny with you moving back an forth with the fan. It's a good thing your scarf didn't get caught in the blades!

It's not music related but flying back from Sault Ste. Marie on New Years day the jeans I was wearing were a little large. As I was walking from the plane down the gangway they kept slipping lower and lower. I kept having to pull them up. Embarassing as there were dozens of people walking behind me. LOL

Lol! I can just imagine you hanging on to your jeans! Not easy to do whilst carrying hand luggage - hehe!

Isn't it cool though, to have your jeans half-way down your backside with your boxers hanging out? Mind you, it baffles me, how the kids who do that manage to stop them from falling all the way down. I mean, what on earth is stopping that from happening? Not that I've been staring at young blokes backsides to figure out just how they do it.......size>


"It's a good thing your scarf didn't get caught in the blades!"

Hehehe! That would have been really tough, trying to look cool - you know, with the attitude of "the show must go on" whilst slowly turning blue? Lol!

Lez.

Lesley, I would have felt 15 again if I wasn't worried about a complete loss of dignity. LOL

Paul, years ago I was running across a busy street and me trousers, which were a bit too large, actually slipped all the way down to my knees before I could catch them! That was before I switched to boxers so there I was, crossing the street in my tightie whities. Nothing I could do but pull up my jeans, keep my eyes straight ahead and walk quickly, very quickly to my car.

LMAO!!! T can believe the 'eyes straight ahead and quickly to the car' part. That'd be what I'd do.

What luck! Good job on soldiering through to the finish!

:)th

lolol fantastic!!

tough way to get fans.LOL and next time wear pants and take an extra set of clothing just in case.
here's my stage story:
we were playing an arena with about 3000 people and were having a blast. the stage was the wrestling ring from the night before. we had taken a cooler full of beer and ice up on the stage an sat it behind the bass amp , so i get the bright idea to go behind my amp and stand on the cooler. now if you ever played on a wrestling ring you know they tend to bounce, so between me standing on the cooler and the other maniacs jumping around the stage i got bounced right off and fell of the back of the stage only to get caugh up in the ropes of the ring they had stored back there. i keep playing but can't hear anything, i manage to get myself free and climb back on the stage behind the guitarist amp and to try to make up for the stupidity i attempt a jump over his amp, i didn't make it, the amp went flying , his spare guitar flew across the stage, i fell again and rolled across the stage, boy i was cool!! all this time the band keeps playing but i now have no sound. after the song we attempted to find out why i had no sound, we checked the amp , the cable and couldn't figure it out, so the other guitar guy is getting pretty p---ed off (after 10 minutes of this) at this point and storms over and turns the volume up on my bass, i guess that was the problem, never even checked that. needless to say i had a few guys ragging on me at break time. then we had a few beers and a laugh about it. i was famous for a couple of weeks, being my home town and all,everywhere i went it was mentioned. but that's rock and roll.

I wish I could have seen that Todd! That would have been golden }^D

the guitarist who guitar i creamed wasn't to happy, it was brand new and i tore a big chunck out of it, but he laughed about not to long aftewrwards. he patshed it up and if you didn't know it was there you would never know.

the guitarist who guitar i creamed wasn't to happy, it was brand new and i tore a big chunck out of it, but he laughed about not to long aftewrwards. he patched it up and if you didn't know it was there you would never know.

ooops double post, double points and 2 for this one, life is good!!!

LOL It sounds like wrestling rings don't make very good stages. I always thought the only tripping hazards would be cables and such, not the amps. ;^}

i think if i jumped now they'd have to get me to a hospital, you slow down a lot in 20 years. LOL

LOL Don't I know it. I've had some of the most spectacular wipe-outs anyone has ever seen all without serious injury. I wouldn't care to repeat one of them now. I'd be a hospital (or morgue) case for sure.

Hahahahahahahahahaha! Todd that's sooooo funny! I would've loved to have seen you bounce right off that cooler - hehehe!

LMAO!!

Lez.

Also, last year when I was playing keys on stage, I had another clothing problem. Their was an air-conditioning fan positioned just behind me and the 2nd keyboard player. It was one of those on a stand that moves from left to right. Somehow, my fluffy little scarf got hooked up on fan, and I spent 2 songs having to move backwards and forwards with the fan, to avoid strangling myself!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha X-D

LMAO!!

I'm sorry Lesley, I laughed so hard reading your post I have a stomach ache.

If you'd had some duct tape handy this whole episode could have been far less stressful. I heartily recommend that all ABers watch the Red Green show to bone up on the many uses of duct tape and save themselves from clothing malfunctions (Janet Jackson - this applies to you too!) LOL

Duct tape and WD40...with those you can rule the world, eh Brian? Love Red Green too, though I don't get to watch it much.

You could have taken an old bass string and made a belt out of it. That would have been cool!

"You could have taken an old bass string and made a belt out of it"

Hehe- can you imagine the astonished looks I would've got from my band mates if I'd have said "sorry guys - clothing problems, I'm just going out the back to put an old G string on - hehehe!

Actually Damon, that's a great idea for making "designer" womens belts - musically themed of course - I could hang a few bass clefs off it - cool!

Lez.

I agree Leslie--not a bad idea to make belts that way for woman musicians. I'd use a low-E string or low-B though, since those are so much more slimming than a little G- or D-string! :)

Here's a new G string John bought for Lesley



(He's got a sweet tooth) LOL

this gets my vote!! ahhh, i mean that's disgusting.LOL

Ooo-er!!

Oh my gosh!

Looks a teensy bit uncomfortable - if ever you see me with a permanently surprised look on my face - you know what I'm wearing.....size>

Brian - where do you find these pictures - hahaha!

Lez.

Yeah, I've never quite figured why women wear thongs. I couldn't imagine walking around with a permanent wedgie! LOL

LOL! That's hilarious! Not to be crude but maybe you should buy new knickers every couple of years. LOL I have to make my wife through her old ones out.

Gerry

Hahaha! To quote my mother - "at least they're all clean and paid for". She says this when I laugh at her big "granny" undies!

But, having said that -.they were such nice knickers, very well loved, I'm so disappointed they broke, I will really miss them....

Oh well, it was the perfect excuse for a bit of retail therapy. To quote John, after seeing the receipt - "just how much underwear can a woman wear in one week?"

Hehehehe!

Lez.

I forgot Lesley, on a more serious note, you're extremely lucky that scarf didn't catch in the blades of the fan! That could have put a real damper on the entire evening.

ROFLMAO

whoooohaahahahahahahhhaahaaaaa heheheh hihihih hohohoh

xD

-V